A Retail Rant


If you are going to call a store in another state to order an item to have shipped to your house, please don't be surprised by the shipping fee.

As in, yes, we have one. The fuck do you think this is, Amazon?

Yes, I'm sure the item total has to be over $50 to get free shipping. Really, I'm sure. No, really. It's 10:21 pm and we close at 10:30. Let's finish this off. What's your information?

The item you want to order doesn't accept coupons. But you know what? Even with shipping, this order is less than $20.

You want me to go fetch a random item to get your order above $50. Huh? How about I put it on hold for you and you can decide on an add-on tomorrow and call for the order then?

Oh, now you just want your original item. Fine. No, it doesn't take coupons. No, you don't get 20% off with your card. I'm sure you got free shipping with your last order, but no, it won't work on this one. Sorry.

Oh, now you want to put it on hold.


  1. Ah, I take it you work retail?
    My brother undercharged someone for shipping last week so we lost money on that sale. And the person lives 15 miles away. We almost dumped it off in her mailbox. Lazy much?

    1. Yes, I work retail. And I'm realizing how indecisive most people are. And how much they buy crap they don't need!

    2. Yeah. Me, too. Retail is the worst. People are dumb. And crazy. And think you have all the time in the world to listen to them go on and on about absolutely nothing. So much fun.

    3. Oh, my God, yes! People are insane. And they ask stupid questions. And they're messy, too!

  2. I've encountered that kind of indecisiveness when making appointments for someone too. Very frustrating. But people still make orders over the phone? And I thought calls would be made to a general corporate number not a specific branch.

    1. Yeah, they make phone orders. What happens is, they get a UPC from online or from another store. We print out a list of which stores have the item if we don't. If it's in the warehouse, then we can fill the order that way. But if it's not in the warehouse anymore 'cause it's on clearance, they then call to see if the item is available on the floor, in order to put it on hold or to have it sent to their house.

      It's not a very organized system.


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