Saturday, July 24, 2010

This post has nothing to do with writing--and may be awfully abstract. It's also not going to be set for email send outs (I do that sometimes to keep people on their toes.)

What does friendship mean to you?

I'm asking because when I look back on my 24 years of existence, friends have played a large part in my life. Being an only, of course, the only way to make friends was to...well, make them. The closer ones are like sisters. It's with some surprise that I realized that I've known my high school friends for ten years now; in some ways, it doesn't feel that long.

I've been able to make friends at every school I've attended. I don't keep in touch with all of them--some by the natural course of falling away, some by fractures like distance. One of my best friends stopped talking to the other member of the Triumverate and I a few summers ago and it was confusing and upsetting. We'd been friends since we were very young--sure, we'd gone different routes in life, but was that a reason to stop talking to us?

I guess she did what she felt she needed to do.

By that same token, the other member of the Triumverate is quite a distance away and very busy. So there you go; a friendship in the process of becoming a mere acquaintanceship. It happens. If anything, friendship is a cycle, with an ebb and flow. As in, sometimes you want to kill your friends and other times, you're flying high and can't imagine having more fun with any other bunch of people in your life.

This comes to mind because one of my friends needs the support of her friends right now. I'm happy to give it. Lord knows, if I was in her situation, I'd be a complete and utter mess and would not be handling it as well as she seems to be.

I was talking about this to a mutual friend recently, who tartly replied that Friend #1 had loudly expressed if their friendship would survive a certain work-related situation, and then said that maybe Friend #1 should not be focusing so much on one thing in favor of another. I think they're both important--one thing for Friend #1's peace of mind, the other for her future.

To say that Friend #2 has rigorous standards is an understatement--and she can be brusque and unthinking in her statements occasionally, as we all are. But it amazed me, in an awkward kind of way, how far apart we are on this particular issue--not a political or social issue or anything like that, mind you--but over a friend. Perhaps Friend #2 is masking her own feelings of the situation or not allowing them to overflow. She has a fairly full plate these days and it's easier to push anything distasteful to the side at those times. Maybe she privately has some negative thoughts on the situation.

Or she could just be repressed and the subject makes her icky.

At any rate, there's a fissure oncoming. I knew the closeness wouldn't last. I can't say we were particularly close this time last year.